Do Something You Love | Ep. 025 - Jess Kent-Johnson

Join host Lynn Debilzen in this dynamic interview with Jess Kent-Johnson on Redraw Your Path!

In this interview, Lynn learns about Jess’s journey from working in music business to health tech, and finally embracing her multifaceted identity as a coach, songwriter, and teaching artist. Their conversation touches on:

• The importance of using your values as your inner compass as you navigate life and career decisions
• The transformative impact of discovering her true heritage and how it shaped her identity and understanding of the complexities in life
• The importance of seeking support and staying open to exploring multiple roles and paths
• Approaching career and life from a portfolio perspective and how the freedom to choose can impact feelings of autonomy

Tune in for a dynamic discussion on life and growth!

About Jess:

Jess Kent-Johnson, is a Madison-based creative leader and Co-Active-trained coach with 15+ years' experience in people leadership, collaboration, facilitation and culture design at the intersection of technology, education, and the arts.

Jess is a graduate of the Mike Curb College of Music Business at Belmont University (Nashville, TN) and works to empower leaders, bring about enterprise-wide transformation, nurture teams, and build culture. She is also a songwriter, poet, and nonfiction writer.

Connect with Jess:
Website: choosetheperk.com - Learn about her custom leadership development program case study with GE Healthcare: https://www.choosetheperk.com/ge-case-study
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-nichole-johnson
Find her on other socials: @workflowcreativestudio
Find The Lullaby Project’s latest album available on SoundCloud: https://on.soundcloud.com/EufDePoSo5epV55k8

Connect with Lynn:

• www.redrawyourpath.com
• www.lynndebilzen.com
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/lynndebilzen/

Transcript

Lynn: 0:00

Hey friends, I'm Lynn Debilzen and welcome to Redraw Your Path, a podcast where I share stories of people who have made big changes in their lives and forged their own unique paths. I talk with guests about their moments of messiness, fear, and reframing on their way to where they are now. My goal is to inspire you about the shape your life could take. So let's get inspired. welcome. Hey, it's your friend, Lynn, and I'm so excited to drop today's episode for you. You're going to find this guest so dynamic and multifaceted, and I'm so excited for it. Her name is Jess Kent-Johnson, and here's a little bit about Jess. Jess is a Madison based creative leader and co active trained coach. With over 15 years of experience in people leadership, collaboration, facilitation, and culture design at the intersection of technology, education, and the arts, Jess is a graduate. of the Mike Curb College of Music Business at Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee, and she works to empower leaders, bring about enterprise wide transformation, nurture teams, and build culture. She is also a songwriter, poet, and nonfiction writer. she is so incredible. I hope you enjoy the episode. I want to just remind you, if you are enjoying Redraw Your Path, please take the time to rate and review in Apple Podcasts. That is incredibly helpful for other people to find the show. Thank you so much for listening and enjoy the episode with Jess. Hello, Jess. How are you? Welcome to Redraw Your Path today.

Jess: 1:51

Thank you. It's so great to be here.

Lynn: 1:53

I'm really excited to get into this conversation. So where I like to start with guests is, can you give us some context about where and how you grew up? Tell us about little Jess's life.

Jess: 2:06

Yeah, absolutely. I grew up in a very small town north of Dallas, Texas. It was called Van Alstyne. And, I think at the time that I lived there, there were about 2, 000 people there. it was a little bit like, What you might expect if you've ever seen, Friday Night Lights, lots of football, lots of, sports going on, outdoor activities. And, yeah, I grew up really, mostly it was in a, an area where I had a little yard. We would play around in the creek, I was very involved in church growing up and did a lot of singing. I loved to sing. And so I sang a lot in, church services and even led some worship services and also did a lot of theater and one act play. And there was just something really fun about, being in front of an audience that, that I loved and, yeah. And so my mom. My mom was a teacher in the same district that we lived in, and my dad, worked in telecommunications, so he would commute. And so we had, and I have one younger brother, and he and I got along pretty well. And yeah, we had kind of a very, what I would say, traditional childhood. In this rural area and, one of the things that I knew to be true at the time that I lived there was that it always felt I enjoyed being in a small town, but also, I always felt like, oh, I really wanted to explore and I knew that college for me was like the pinnacle of experience. And so I remember being I was really young, maybe even fifth and sixth grade and thinking about what do I need to do from a college transcript perspective or high school transcript perspective to make sure that I'm getting excellent grades. I always thought of like elbow patches and, having very, I don't know, erudite conversations with professors and students and everything I'd seen for movies and TV. So for me, college was the thing that I was gunning for. That was my goal.

Lynn: 4:18

yeah, that's so interesting. I'm hearing that like good student come out. Wait, elbow patches. Were you thinking about elbow patches like from a fashion perspective of how to prepare to be an academic someday? Tell me more.

Jess: 4:34

Maybe. I think I had this very Ivy League understanding of what it meant to go to college. and I think that's because neither of my parents went to a kind of a traditional four year university. They finished their degrees after my brother and I were already, already born. I think that was part of their message was Go right out of school because we didn't and it took us forever and it was really tough. and so for me, I thought, Ooh, I'm going to be the top of my class. I'm going to get a scholarship if I can, and I'm going to go have this very traditional, educational experience. And so I think in, I don't know if it was Goodwill hunting, but they're in this college prep. environment, and I just think of, yeah, the blazers with the elbow patches and maybe they smoke a pipe on the weekends,

Lynn: 5:25

I love that picture. I love that picture. And you mentioned, you love being in a small town, but, so were you equating college with, big city or, city living also?

Jess: 5:35

Yes. I knew that would be my kind of ticket out of that small town. Nothing that I really saw people doing professionally there really felt that. inspiring to me or drew me in that way. and yeah, I just knew that it was something that was accessible to me, that people did it. and I had a ton of support from my family too, because I don't know that they ever sat me down and were like, you must go to college, but I, it was something that I was really excited and energized about. this is gonna be, I'll be so mature. I'll be so intellectual. Yeah,

Lynn: 6:12

I love that. Like my 19 year old self is gonna be so mature. I'll be paying bills. It'll be so great.

Jess: 6:20

you can imagine my, shock and awe when I realized you're still very much a kiddo, when you're in college in my mind.

Lynn: 6:28

Yeah. and it's, it sounds like you had Like you mentioned, I think you used the word traditional, like a pretty like quintessential American nuclear family upbringing. I love that you mentioned Friday Night Lights, because that's immediately where my mind went when you said Texas and small town. And your small town is, I think, three times the size of my small village that I grew up in. That's very exciting. I love connecting with other small towners to big city folks. so I heard you say, starting in fifth or sixth grade to be really excited about college, and so I'm hearing some, expectations in terms of excellence, and academic and intellectual, endeavors. were there any other expectations you felt for yourself or you felt were placed on you by your community?

Jess: 7:21

Yeah, I mean, there was definitely, being a girl, being, and eventually a woman, this expectation that you would be polite and kind, and, I mentioned that I grew up going to a Christian church, and so there were a lot of expectations there about what it meant to be kind of good in the world. and. Partnering that with the feedback I was getting about being good in school and getting great grades, suddenly I kind of, at a very young age, thought of myself as, I will be the valedictorian. I will be smart. I will be an achiever. And so I think even at that age, I don't know if people specifically said, again, you must do this, but it was kind of the temperature of the room, if you will, about if I do these things, I will then kind of be worthy, or I will, stand on the shoulders of what my parents had done, because I was also keenly aware my parents they did not have money when they were young. My dad grew up on a farm. My mom, her parents had both remarried several times, and it was in a time when really divorce wasn't very common or supported. and so I knew the sacrifices that they had made socially, financially. to take care of my brother and me, and I felt a big push to, I've gotta turn that into something even greater.

Lynn: 8:48

There's that pressure of the next generation will be more successful, healthy, wealthy, etc. than the past generation. which I think is interesting. There's so many economic discussions we can have around that and specifically, and I don't want to make any assumptions about your age, but what generation do you identify with?

Jess: 9:12

Yeah. I am definitely elder millennial.

Lynn: 9:15

Okay. We are fellow geriatric elder millennial. that whole idea of, each generation does get More educated and wealthier than the last generation. What does that mean? We could talk, I'm sure, for the whole day about it. and the other thing I just wanted to, underline what I heard you say, too, is there was this idea of good in the world and, here's your path. To being a good person. And there's always a flip side to that. Was there the message of here are the things that if you do these, you are then like a bad person, or maybe as a child, you were connecting dots.

Jess: 9:52

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, everything from, if you get into jail or prison, that's bad. don't do things that are illegal. There was a lot about dating and relationships, so there's a lot of pressure to, really conduct yourself in a way my parents did not want Dating or even physicality with boys to get in the way of school, And they even, specifically said, don't worry about getting a summer job. We don't need you to really focus on earning money. What we want you to do is think of school as your job. And at the time, that felt like a great gift because then I didn't, I could do all of the activities and sports and Latin Club and all of those things, but as an adult, I look, I reflect on that and I go, Oh, that's also a lot of pressure. They didn't mean to, I don't think, but it felt like a lot of pressure.

Lynn: 10:45

Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's interesting. The more and more I have these interviews, the question comes up, is there any way to raise your child where there is not pressure? Because I started working at 14, 12 before that as a babysitter. So like completely opposite in terms of work. And I'm like, Oh, I still felt like a lot of pressure. So then The question comes up, wow, is there any way to do this?

Jess: 11:11

Yeah. Your guess is as good as mine. I,

Lynn: 11:14

yeah. and this will evolve into a parenting podcast, which is hosted by a non parent. I love this. I love this for everyone.

Jess: 11:24

Yeah. Yeah.

Lynn: 11:25

Cool. thanks, Jess, for that background and just talking through some of those expectations that you felt. Can you tell listeners where and how you're currently spending your days so that they have those bookends for your life?

Jess: 11:39

and maybe I'll just back up a little bit. So when I graduated from high school, I did get into a university in Nashville and my passion was music business. I thought that would be a great kind of compromise where I loved music, but the, being a reliable, responsible person, I would have that business degree. and it turned out to be so formative for me because I met all of my or many of my lifelong friends are from Belmont University now. I in, leadership development and coaching and culture consulting with organizations and individuals that want to build and develop their and the other piece that I do is I'm a teaching artist with the Lullaby Project, which is a community engagement program. based out of our Performing Arts Center here, and I get to, I get partnered with parents of new, or they're either expecting or have new children, and we help them write a song for their baby. So I get to use my musical talents, to help them connect with their kiddos. So it's really fun for me.

Lynn: 12:43

oh my gosh, what a rewarding project or initiative to be part of. and can you mention, you said here, are you talking small town Texas or let's, pin geography for

Jess: 12:55

Oh, that's right. I didn't even tell you. where I am in the world. So, after I left Nashville, I got recruited by a company that is based in Madison, Wisconsin. So now I'm a Midwest girl. I've been here since 2010.

Lynn: 13:08

Cool. Cool. Well, Redraw Your Path has had many Wisconsinites or honorary Wisconsinites, on. So thank you for that. I'm a very visual person. So for listeners who are very visual, they can see not just like the content of the change of the path, but also the geography too, Thank you. okay. So you grew up, you had this kind of focus on academics and excellence. You talked about, you did share a little bit about going to Nashville for music business. Talk us through like your path and the first way you redrew your path in your life.

Jess: 13:49

I was living in Nashville, I had found a job working at a performing rights organization, which sounded really fascinating. But I was about two years in and I was realizing, oh, when I look at the folks that have been doing this for their career, it does not feel inspiring. It felt a lot like Nashville. Data entry and operations and administration. And it was really separate from the creative things that sounds so cool about working in entertainment. and because of the timing of when I was there, we were in a great recession and It didn't matter if you had the most amazing grades coming out of school. Jobs were really hard to come by, especially ones that were attractive. And I didn't really know how to, I didn't know the importance of networking and that, or just even putting yourself out there. I just thought, oh, it'll be like school. It's very structured and you just get an automatic promotion every year, if you're just, heads down doing your work. And so I put my resume on I think all of the platforms that existed, CareerBuilder, Monster. com, all of this I know really dates where I am in the timeline. and I applied, I just, sprayed it like water from a sprinkler, and I was applying all over the place. And this company called Epic in Madison, contacted me and said, hey, we think you could be a really great fit as a project manager to help our clients install and use the software, in their healthcare organizations. And so I showed up on campus at the headquarters in Madison, or just outside of Madison, and I had made a list and I said, if I can use these skill sets daily, the day to day experience is what I really want. And so things like, being challenged and solving problems, a little bit of public speaking if possible, creativity, and for those that know of EPIC, their campus is, it's kind of like working at Google or Disney, because they have all these themed buildings. So I showed up and outwardly thought, Wow, they really value creativity, innovation, and they're willing to invest in me as a very young professional. yeah, spirit of adventure. And so when they offered me the position, I thought, okay, I don't know anyone in Wisconsin at all. I even got on Wikipedia and, searched what is up with Madison, Wisconsin. I had never watched Any Big Ten football, I didn't really, I knew it was the capital, but I didn't know a soul from Wisconsin that I knew, like, Now I think I, I knew maybe one person, but I didn't realize that at the time.

Lynn: 16:32

I mean, did you even have a favorite cheese at that point in your life? these are the questions.

Jess: 16:37

You know what? There was a great, growing up in Texas helped with the cheese appreciation, and I think beer, brats, and cheese, that's a unifying force. and, but yes, it was actually a pretty natural shift because I also, met a lot of folks. I'm very extroverted, and so it worked in my favor when I was trying to get rooted. I met a lot of people, and the company that I worked with started us all on the same day. And so we started to build these friendships and relationships. And, the one thing I will say that I noticed right away is I had come in when I was living in Nashville. It was very important to be fashionable and seem cool. And so here I was wearing like a, I think it was like a maroon fedora and I had a scarf and, you'd show up to the bars in the area and people would go, who is that? Because everybody else is just jeans or sweatpants. And, so I really, my identity shifted a lot when I moved here because I was like, oh, I feel like I stand out more just by nature of, coming from a different city where culturally everybody was like, you've got to have your own personal fashion. And not even to say that was good, it was just weird or different.

Lynn: 17:51

Did you find yourself at that point like really wanting to fit in and shift or were you, was it a relief for you like, Oh, I don't have to try so hard to find the perfect fedora for the bar?

Jess: 18:06

I was, I think I was really intrigued because the work I was doing was engaging. I was traveling all the time. I liked that. I stood out a little bit, so that's something I still, continue to lean into, but I remember I also, my full name is Jessica, and only a couple friends called me Jess, and when they asked me the first day, what do you want on the placard at your office? I said, you know what? Let's just go by Jess. And so it was very much like a rebranding. I got a chance to kind of build my professional and leadership brand, even starting, I wouldn't have known to call it that, but I was starting to say, this is how I want to show up in the world, a little bit.

Lynn: 18:48

Awesome.

Jess: 18:50

so it felt empowering.

Lynn: 18:51

Yeah, and it sounds like you were doing some reframing for yourself, too, around like how you wanted to be. And did you, in terms of career, did you have to do some reframing there in terms of I'm going to be a music business professional versus like a healthcare tech Profession, like project manager. Can you talk me through what that

Jess: 19:16

Yeah, in the early days, I think that the excitement and energy eclipsed my idea that I need to do music and work in the music industry full time. I don't think, I think it was an impulsive thing because I just was so tired of working in this industry, feeling underutilized. and yeah, so in the moment, I think I just said, Oh, I did, get on some websites and try to find other musicians in the area and tried to do some songwriting together. And I thought, Oh, this will just be something that I do on the side. but the travel that I did started to really kick off. Get in the way of that. And I think I got distracted and was pretty exhausted because I would be gone Monday through Thursday. And so then Friday through Sunday would really be a focus on all the things. trying to live a life, clean your apartment, go out for drinks, have dinner, maybe get some exercise in. And so music started to kind of dwindle into kind of a corner. and there for a couple of years, I didn't even, I think my I play piano and I think I even didn't touch my keyboard for a year and a half or two years.

Lynn: 20:29

Interesting. and I wonder too, correct and correct me if I'm wrong on any of these, wonderings, but I almost wonder, you said like you really had wanted to go into music, but the music business degree felt more secure. So already there was maybe a message of this is a really hard career path. And I imagine that exists just in Nashville in general of everybody's there for the music industry. It's really exciting and cool. But also it's like the starving artist, the this is really hard and you need to really hit it big

Jess: 21:02

absolutely. Yeah, I had this idea that, oh, Because I think I had been a little bit of a small, a big fish in a small pond in my small hometown. And then I went to Nashville and went, wow, the talent is immeasurable. There are so many talented people. And that's where I felt stuck because I didn't realize, I mean, I knew it was also a lot of work, but I didn't realize it also required a lot of strategy and connection. and those were the two pieces, the strategy and connection where I knew what looked good on paper, but I didn't know how to make that happen in real life. And so then when I moved into the health tech space, that was another place where it was like, I just need a steady paycheck. not just a steady paycheck. it was the most money I'd ever made and I suddenly could afford To buy the hat, to buy the dress that I really was craving. and so I think that financial stability felt so good that it made me go, Oh, maybe my desire to do these creative things I think that's how I would have described it, too, at the time. It's yeah, I'm engaged. I'm solving problems. I'm getting tons of great feedback, because that's the other thing. It feels so good to me to get the feedback. if it's not literal applause, maybe it's, great reviews, and a bonus, and getting staffed on projects that are well respected. and so yeah, those things started to crowd out some of the things I'd previously thought were a big part of who I was.

Lynn: 22:38

Yeah, and it's almost, I mean, part of life is like prioritizing and prioritizing like what your needs are at any given moment. And it sounds like that was what was going on in that. in that time. so you mentioned before the travel started to get in the way of some of those creative endeavors and life. Is that how your, next big turn came about? Because I definitely know the tiredness of every week travel. so can you talk us through, your next big turn?

Jess: 23:11

yeah, absolutely. so one of the things that happened while I was at this large health tech company was that my boyfriend, who is now my husband, his dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor and the prognosis was he had about six months. And that was, of course, devastating and a shock. And as the girlfriend, I was kind of grappling with, What's my role to help support this person that I love? you know, we're not married. We don't have any major roots. We weren't sharing a house, nothing like that. And so, I remember when I, I was in, I was in a rural area in eastern Tennessee for a work trip, and it was the dead of winter, and I got the call from my husband, well, boyfriend Alex, and he said, my dad's gone, and I knew that I immediately needed and wanted to be with him in that moment. And because of the travel snafus, it took, a day and a half, two days before I could get there to just give him a hug and just be present. And that was a turning point in my life where I realized, I am not engaged enough in this that I will sacrifice The ability to be present with the people that I love that just is no longer on the table. And, so that immediately started me looking for a different balance between maybe I could still stay in health tech, but not the travel is not. Okay, not at that level anymore. And so that was the next pivot that I did is I moved. First, I tried to stay with the company. I moved into an internal administrative role and ran there. I was the director of their consultant relations department. And then I was starting to realize, I think I've I think I've learned everything that I need to learn at this company. And then I jumped into the tech startups and I thought, Ooh, maybe if I build something from the ground up, I will do that. and I stayed with the first one for about a year, but then I still was trying to get back to using my creative talents. and I even took a job doing some business analysis work for a performing arts center in Madison four weeks before. The pandemic shut everything down I was the newest member on the team and we started seeing all of the Broadway shows being crossed off the schedule. and then I started seeing the projects I was going to work on being crossed off from a budget perspective. And And I thought, Oh, at this point I was married, and I needed a paycheck. I couldn't be furloughed. And so I turned back into what I knew was. consistent and safe. And so I went back to a health tech company. So I even tried, I tried to make that in road and then the world forces that happened. I was like, nope, just kidding. Let's take something stable again.

Lynn: 26:05

Yeah. How long were you in that role? Was that a full-time role at the performing arts work? So how long were you in that role?

Jess: 26:13

I all told, I think I was in it about six months. I worked five and a half of those months from home, or maybe five months if I do the right. and then went back to, health tech company And so that really, that balance between survive, I mean, at the time we thought, Oh, what is this going to be like? Is this the new normal? what do I need to survive? so I knew that I really still wanted to find that intersection of working with arts and culture and getting to do the speaking. And, when it came down to it, being able to pay our bills and. Buy enough toilet paper was, was important. And

Lynn: 26:53

yeah.'cause I imagine, I mean, that's where the future job security comes up to, right? Like, how long are performing arts orgs going to be around if this is the new normal? I want to go back to, first of all, I'm so sorry about, when you went through Alex's father's death and just that I'm sure the pain that came up in those two days of not being able to be with the person You love and give them a hug. can you talk me through, from that point in which you realized I'm not willing to trade my values for this job to when you, actually made a switch into that new role? can you just talk through both the timeline, but also just some of the reframing you had to do for yourself of I'm Jess and I like travel all the time and I'm really cool and fun and have these like big respected projects to, oh wait, like maybe I have become like someone who prioritizes family

Jess: 28:00

Um, yes. So I, I think the immediate. What I would call it now is I think I was burned out. And so what that meant was I was starting to feel like I didn't care as much about the projects. I still wanted to get good feedback, but it wasn't enough to make me feel sustained. and I mean, I looked for, first, I thought, oh, all the benefits of this company are so great. So I thought, how can I fit myself into something that's available within the confines of this company? And I talked, I did talk with my manager at the time, and she, Put the feeler out and they had an internal position that I could transfer into. and I, and actually, I stayed in that internal role for 3 years. and there, and it was because I was off of the road. So that solved that problem in my mind. and there were still, it was, managing a couple of teams who did their online portal with all of the learning and development. materials and then also working with the legal team on contracts and relationships with consultant companies. And that was interesting and something new to learn. and and the processes, were not very streamlined. And so I had a problem to solve. I could come in and kind of clean up and organize. And then once it was more or less humming, I started to feel that feeling of, oh, there's got to be something bigger. There's got to be something different. and then I was starting to feel panicked because I thought I'd exhausted my opportunity and so then I evaluated. Oh, people I know are going to these health tech companies, people with my same kind of job history. And so I started applying to a few of those and got recruited. And that was exciting because someone wanted me. Someone was excited and I was like, Oh, there is a possibility after this company. And I started to do that, but then what I realized was I was in customer success. And a big part of that is you're not the one creating or developing the software. You're not the one selling or even having the initial conversations with prospective clients. And so when you are kind of in a tech startup and you're building the plane as it's flying, is a lot of how do I fill in the gaps for sometimes promises I didn't make or promises that are incredibly hard to pull off. and I was realizing I can do this, but do I have to was the question.

Lynn: 30:39

Ah.

Jess: 30:40

And I, and I was also stuck in this feeling of, if I don't do what my natural job history, you know, where it was leading me up the ladder, I'll be back to where I was before and I'll be, I think I made, when I was in entertainment industry, I think I made 24, 000 my first year and that was salaried. And I did have, I had health insurance, woohoo, but I was poor. I I was feeling very, stretched. And, you know, I, Hosted at a place called the Whiskey Kitchen, and I did childcare, and I just, in my mind, I was stuck. I was like, if I say no to this logical, up the ladder approach, of course, the only other option that could possibly be is I will have to go back and cobble together I'll have to wait tables again, and I'm, my feet are not good for that

Lynn: 31:31

Yeah.

Jess: 31:32

Like my body cannot handle this. Yeah. Like I have, yeah, I have all the utmost respect for folks that are doing that, but it felt oh my God, I'm terrified. I'm. and so I would constantly be looking and searching and looking and searching and keeping it in the back of my mind. where's my out?

Lynn: 31:51

yeah, and it sounded like you thought your out was maybe only one specific it was like going back to this other skill set you had. However, could you blend all of them together but still be chosen and still, earn enough money to feel comfortable. And it sounded like it sounds like you were making a lot of decisions about trade offs, and really weighing all the options. And also, I think sometimes when you're in that position, it's really hard to Be creative in the potential paths that you could take.

Jess: 32:26

Yes.

Lynn: 32:27

And not only is that hard for yourself, but it's hard for the people that you're trying to get to hire you in, having them see you as potentially successful in whatever path they're It might be. is that how you were feeling?

Jess: 32:43

it very much was how do I explain, how do I explain myself? how do I show up looking very different than maybe what they had in their mind when they posted this role? as well as from an identity perspective, what is it? What does work mean to me? It was very important because I've, I thought of myself as a career minded person. I liked to be busy. I didn't necessarily know how to, I didn't want to be bored. I'd always said I'd rather be stressed out than bored, and I think that was true. And yeah, so trying to represent myself and even, I don't think that I asked people out in the world about all the possibilities because it just felt so overwhelming. I instead was like, Just silently observing and looking online and seeing what people would post on their LinkedIn or where they had moved to. And so I also think I did myself a disservice in that way because I didn't talk about it a lot because I was too afraid that people would go. Oh, what's wrong with her? why isn't she happy?

Lynn: 33:53

you've already been, yeah, you've been through career decision day in high

Jess: 33:57

Yeah! and, you were at the top of your class, so if you're so smart, why don't you have it all figured out?

Lynn: 34:05

That is a powerful message that you're telling yourself.

Jess: 34:09

Yeah.

Lynn: 34:10

Yeah, interesting. thank you for being so vulnerable in that because I've had that exact thought come up, right? It's wait, if I am so smart. Why haven't I figured this out? Like, why isn't this so much easier? so talk us through the next turn. I know, you went through a few different roles, health tech, back to performing arts, back to health tech. Talk us through the next turn. Was that a career move as well?

Jess: 34:38

Yeah. in the early pandemic, as we all did, we went through all these hobbies. I think I painted my pantry. I read all the books, tried to do some home yoga and I ordered a DNA test, just to see kind of what my ethnicity was. I'd never taken one. They were offering it, I think, at a discount. and. I was so surprised when it came back and it said that about 25 percent of my DNA had originated in Japan and this was totally out of left field because I, I grew up, my parents, my maiden name is very German. my mom is like red haired and freckle faced and like we're very white. And I didn't know any relatives that were either Japanese or even just generally East Asian. and so this was another place in my personal life where suddenly I was like, what is going on? And what it uncovered, was that the dad who had raised me was not my biological father. and It turned out that, my biological father, his mom had been from Japan, his dad had met her just after World War II, they had come over and been married, and so, that was a ground shaking revelation for not just me, but of course it has implications for my parents and all of my family. And, that could be really traumatic for folks too. but it also had so many roots and identity because suddenly you find yourself looking back at every single photo and family video and all of these assumptions you make and the stories you tell about what does it mean to be me. And, that was a huge mindset shift that suddenly I realized, oh, I had always been told to You need to focus on school. Don't let these boys get in the way. make sure that you are stable financially. and all of this focus on wanting me to be okay and stable. and not let anything get in the way of that. I realized, oh, I don't, not only do I not have to do life the way I thought it was, I'm a totally different person genetically than I thought I was. Maybe it's okay to question some of these preconceived notions, from my parents, from my community growing up. so that was sort of the unpacking, or the beginning of the unpacking of. Wow, nothing is as it seems. I can just, I don't have to play by any rules. heck, if the whole foundation has been shaken out from under me, why don't I just rethink everything else, too?

Lynn: 37:24

Wow. what a just bombshell and opportunity. And it sounds like the rug just probably was so ripped out from under you.

Jess: 37:36

Oh, yeah, and it's a very weird, I process things like that strangely. And so my initial reaction was laughter because I think I was in so much shock. And I was like, of course, this isn't true. How could that be true? that's not in character for anybody in my family. and what I realized was No, we're very complex humans. And, the. Unspoken question is that, it was an ex boyfriend of my mother's. so I just realized, oh, there's a lot that she was doing to protect me, talking about a parenting podcast. Whether she knew it or not, she was trying to make the best out of a really terrible situation.

Lynn: 38:14

And with the risk of sounding like Maury Povich, did, was this shocking news to your dad as well? Mm hmm.

Jess: 38:24

Yes. And unfortunately, yeah, it was a total surprise to him. the, Silver lining is that our relationship, I think, is stronger because we're both so grateful for how it actually played out that we have this relationship. but yeah, he was devastated. And needless to say, it was, it's definitely, something that his and my mom's relationship could not rebound from.

Lynn: 38:51

Sorry to hear that. Yeah,

Jess: 38:53

but one of the things that's true is, being an adult and finding this out, puts it in such a different perspective. I think if I had been younger, I might not have been able to understand the complexity of, or the yes and of it all. yes, this was a secret. And it was done with hope. Hope that maybe it was my father, maybe I was my father's child. it was done with protection. it, and there are many ways you could look at it, but there, there is a lot of beauty as well as, complexity there.

Lynn: 39:25

Yeah. I appreciate your vulnerability and you just sharing those reflections on it because we're freaking complex human beings. And I think, giving that grace to our parents and grandparents and ancestors before us is always a really helpful thing to do. and it sounds like You started questioning a lot of things. So is there anything you want to share in terms of what you did start to question that was like really big for you?

Jess: 39:57

Yeah, one of the things that it opened up for me was that pretending was not something that I wanted to do. I didn't want to pretend I was okay. I didn't want to stay stagnant. and over time, the way that you process that changes. And so I eventually did. I was still in the tech world at this time, and I took a role. I was the VP of professional services for another tech company and I hired a leadership coach because what I thought I was hiring her for was I wanted to really crush imposter syndrome and, kill it in the boardroom. I wanted to show up and be the most impressive leader you've ever seen. And what I realized as she dug in with who am I? What do I value? Why do I even want to be this type of leader? it reflected back on what is it that I really want? And, the answer started to become, there's a reason every chance or opportunity that I had, I was still trying to sneak in the creative aspects. and I suddenly was realizing it doesn't, the label of a role or the, Even the paycheck, I did not need to be making the highest dollar amount that I could possibly make to be successful for me. My definition of success was slowly shifting into more of, a well rounded plate of food. Which is, yes, being able to Achieve the things I want to achieve and be engaged is important. But if I don't, if, if I have another 30 to 40 years of working in the workforce left, I want to do it doing something that I absolutely love. And I started to realize, oh, all of my favorite things about leading teams or being part of a department was the people development. And. as well as the strategy, and if I can work in my creativity there, that would be so juicy. so that led me to leave tech altogether. and become a coach and go into the leadership development space. I now work with a company called The Perk that does workshops and training and one to one coaching and group coaching, but all of that is with the, intent to help people really connect to their own voices, what is true about them, and then bring that into why they choose to lead teams. so it was like, I have been there and therefore let me show you it's possible. and it felt really good. and I also put myself out there for this teaching artist role, and I started to think about my career as more of a portfolio where I can have a couple of different initiatives going on at any given time. And that feels really nice for me, rather than being all in where I need to have one title and everybody has to understand it. when I am at a dinner party.

Lynn: 43:01

Mm hmm. I love that. And I think it's interesting. It sounds like rather than thinking about it as here's this full time career that I dedicate everything to, it's more like, here's Jess Kent Johnson's portfolio. And that might include, it might include a full time job. It might include part time jobs. It might include volunteer roles. It might include your family roles, but that you are trying to bring that all together on that. that plate of like, how are you not just like pouring yourself into and getting recognized for that, but how are you getting your needs met as a whole human?

Jess: 43:38

Yeah, that's a great way to put it. and yeah, to your point, so it kind of opened the door for me to say, yes, I can get my needs met and I can enjoy this work and I can make an impact in a lot of different ways than just, What's my job? And yes, the job that pays my bills is incredibly engaging. I love my team, and they do amazing work, and it's really fun to be part of it. And I also, got connected with the Arts Commission in my county and helped produce the Business of Art Conference with them. I joined the board of a local arts non profit, Make Music Madison, and so we host Every year June 21st a day of free music citywide. Last year we had 600 live

Lynn: 44:25

600.

Jess: 44:26

Over 600, yes.

Lynn: 44:28

my gosh. I bet your project management skills were very helpful in coordinating that.

Jess: 44:34

It's, some of those things really do come in handy so then I get to play music, I get to be around other musicians, I get to, be part of building a community of support for people that are creative, and I get to pay my bills, and it's fun. And so, that. reframing or shifting from I need the one perfect thing to I need five to seven. I'm doing five to seven different things at any given time, I have to manage my energy, but I get to choose and that feels so good.

Lynn: 45:10

Yeah. Girl, you're speaking my language and secretly giving me really helpful advice. so I appreciate that. Jess, talk to me about what from that experience of working with a leadership coach led you down the path of coaching? Because I've had a lot of coaches on Redraw Your Path, and for you specifically, What was helpful there or what felt intriguing enough there to explore that path?

Jess: 45:39

when I worked with my leadership coach, it was the first time I'd had, various types of mental health care before too, and talk therapy and counseling. but I'd never known anything about the coaching space. And so it was the first time where someone both held the space for me to say, I'm feeling messy. I don't know how to make sense of this all. I can't tell this to anyone else because I need them to respect and admire me in order to get this job or keep this job. and so hold that space and be able to have emotions and have it also take into consideration that I am not just. my job. I am also a whole person. and all of the family stuff and your history and these surprises along the way, how you're parenting, all that stuff is all contained in you. And it gave me permission to honestly be less perfect. And I loved that feeling. it was like a drink of water after walking through, The, the desert and just being parched. And I had no idea. I know I never even realized that I had needed that so much. And also the, the way that the coaching relationship, it was, basically six months worth of conversations, really powerful conversations and reflection. And she would hold me accountable to do big, scary things. And if I said, I really want to do this, she'd say, And then it was someone to say, if I showed up and I hadn't done it the next day, she would ask me, what was up with that? Why didn't you do it? What are you protecting? What are you trying to hold on to? And so she would just call me out in that way with love. And I thought, oh, this was so profoundly impactful for me. I want to be able to have that impact for others, and what a world it would be if everybody felt so held.

Lynn: 47:44

I love that.

Jess: 47:45

Yes.

Lynn: 47:45

Yeah. thank you for digging into that a little bit more. When we first connected, I think that was one of the commonalities. You and I had both experienced coaching and the power of it, and the power for someone to hold space for you, both in role and with accountability to an organization, but also with accountability to self. I just appreciate you sharing that. And I agree. I think for decades I've been like, everybody would benefit from therapy and now I'm like, everyone would benefit from coaching and therapy. And how do we build a world where there is a accessibility for both or all of the above? and what does that look like and how do we change systems too? So that. people aren't growing up with this idea of I am my career, or I am whatever career I choose, and once I choose,

Jess: 48:41

Yes. yeah, that's a great question. I also have that question, which is what needs to shift? One of the things that I have noticed is that we, the way we think about work, especially in the United States, I don't, I've not lived elsewhere. But, is that it is so tied to identity, about who we are. So the concept that what you do is who you are, and that's often one of the first things we ask people when we meet them is, Oh, what do you do? And we just, we're just trying to know them. But what we don't realize is that is We're not asking them, Oh, what are your hopes and dreams? Cause that feels intense. but honestly, I think we're all craving a little intensity and realness. and yeah. And so when I finally said, you know what, rather than trying to show up, I can't remember who said this, but rather than, might've been one of your previous, guests, but rather than showing up and trying to fit yourself into the mold that exists and just hoping you fit in and they believe you like Cinderella and the glass slipper, or the stepsisters and the glass slipper, being incredibly clear about this is who I am, I feel good about it, I know why I am this way, and this is the beauty and the impact I bring to the world, and oh my gosh, that's a totally different way to show up anywhere, including job interviews, and so people want self assured, confident folks on their teams, being part of it, they can learn from them, and yeah, I think it's powerful to say, start with you.

Lynn: 50:16

Yeah. Yeah. I'm hopeful, I don't know if I'm naively hopeful, but I'm hopeful about Gen Z and them starting to really embrace some of that multiple identity, work and. I'm curious. I'm just curious about the next few decades and how that will play out. so that actually, I think those questions are a perfect segue to advice. Jess, what advice would you give to others who are considering redrawing their path or wondering what their path will look like?

Jess: 50:49

Yeah, my first tip or recommendation or even challenge would be enlist someone to be together with you as you are in it. Find someone you trust and cough cough, I love a coach for this, find someone you trust and where it's safe to say the things you can't say or you don't feel That you have said. When you're really true about that, it unlocks what are all the things, the possibilities you could be doing. And there's a ton of fear. There's a ton of scarcity. There's always this idea of if you are living your life the way that your financial planner is, They may be your person, but don't talk to them yet. Talk to someone who knows your heart and your soul first, and you will find a way to be out there. And then the second thing is, Talk about the fact that you are interested in these other things. Elevate what it is that you love. Because the more people know that you love these things, you never know when your name comes up when you're not in the room. And so they go, Oh, I heard Lynn wrote a children's book. Oh my gosh, I know these other authors. And there are. That's the other thing, you know, I joined a writing circle just to see what it was like. And so you can dabble in stuff and it's okay to decide you either love it and it's just part of your portfolio, it could be your main thing, or you go, great, I tried it and no thanks, I'm going to say no to this now, and that's lovely.

Lynn: 52:30

That is an amazing word. Lovely. It is lovely when you can say no or say meh, this doesn't bring me much joy anymore. Cool. Any other advice you would give?

Jess: 52:40

the only other thing I would say is it is possible. Don't give up on the fact that you can absolutely do something you love.

Lynn: 52:48

Yes. Oh, double underline. Jess, where can people find you? And is there anything you would want to share with listeners?

Jess: 52:56

Yeah, absolutely. I love to meet people on LinkedIn. You can find me at jesskent johnson. if you want to know more about the coaching and culture consulting work, you can find my company at choosetheperk. com. And that's Perk, P E R K. if you want to know more about the artistic side of my world, music, the Lullaby Project, my Instagram handle is at Workflow Creative Studio.

Lynn: 53:25

Jess, thank you so much for being willing to share your story with listeners. And I'm just so excited. I think they're going to get so many pieces of wisdom from your story and your journey and your lessons. So All

Jess: 53:39

You are welcome. It's so my pleasure to be here.

Lynn: 53:44

Thanks for listening to Redraw Your Path with me, Lynn Debilzen. If you like the episode, please rate and review. That helps more listeners find me. And don't be shy, reach out and connect with me on LinkedIn and sign up for my e-newsletter at redrawyourpath.com. I can't wait to share more inspiring stories with you. See you next week.