I Was Going to Do It My Way | Ep. 032 - Risa August

Join host Lynn Debilzen in this powerful Redraw Your Path interview with Risa August, Colorado-based author, speaker, gestalt practitioner, and patient advocate.

In this interview, Lynn learns about Risa’s journey of personal self-discovery and growth. Their conversation touches on:

• The meaning of words like successful, responsible, staying the course, and how those ideas are ingrained in us from very young
• The power of immersing yourself in another culture, whether it be down the road, across the country, or around the world
• The importance of letting go of external expectations and learning to live life on one's own terms

Tune in for a dynamic discussion on life and growth!

About Risa:

Based in Colorado, Risa August is a compelling author, speaker, Gestalt practitioner, and advocate for those with rare pituitary diseases. Over the past five years, Risa has captivated audiences by sharing her personal journey, most notably through her memoir The Road Unpaved – Border to Border with a Brain Tumor and a Bike. Her experiences also resonate through her published works on blogs and in various smaller publications, including her widely translated essay, “Marshmallow Clouds.”

In addition to a B.A. in Geography, Risa is a certified Gestalt Practitioner and has her certificate in Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy. Her on-going battle with a pituitary tumor and rare disease has not only shaped her professional endeavors but also her personal growth, as she continuously practices shifting perspectives and challenging her own limiting beliefs in order to fully embrace life.

A girl with Sparkles in her hair and formerly an Ironman athlete, Risa remains passionate about her bike and barbells, and her adventurous spirit shines through her involvement in diverse activities such as Bollywood and hip-hop dance, aerial silks, boxing, and indoor skydiving. Risa also leads creativity workshops where she guides others through finding their own voice and sharing their stories.

Through her speaking engagements at conferences for pharmaceutical leaders, medical professionals, and patients alike, Risa provides inspiration and vital information, aiming to guide others away from potential hardships and toward a smoother path. Her life and work serve as powerful testaments to the strength found in vulnerability and the profound impact of personal resilience.

Connect with Risa:
Website: https://www.risaaugust.com
Order her book: https://amzn.to/4fkB15l
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/risa-august-9b130524a
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/risaunleashed/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/risaunleashed, https://www.facebook.com/featherandsagecoaching/
Substack: https://substack.com/@risaunleashed
LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/risaaugust 

Connect with Lynn:

• www.redrawyourpath.com
• www.lynndebilzen.com
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/lynndebilzen/

Transcript

Lynn: 0:00

Hey friends, I'm Lynn Debilzen and welcome to Redraw Your Path, a podcast where I share stories of people who have made big changes in their lives and forged their own unique paths. I talk with guests about their moments of messiness, fear, and reframing on their way to where they are now. My goal is to inspire you about the shape your life could take. So let's get inspired. Hey friends, it's your friend Lynn and I'm really thrilled to share another exciting interview with you. I hope you'll find this one really inspirational. I teared up, she teared up. it was a really powerful story for myself to hear. and here's a little bit about my guest. I had the chance to interview Risa August. Risa August is based in Colorado and She's a compelling author, speaker, gestalt practitioner, and advocate for those with rare pituitary diseases. Over the past five years, Risa has captivated audiences by sharing her personal journey, most notably through her memoir, The Road Unpaved, Border to Border with a Brain Tumor and a Bike. Her experiences also resonate through her published works on blogs and in various smaller publications, including her widely translated essay, Marshmallow Clouds. In addition to a BA in Geography, Risa is a certified Gestalt practitioner and has her certificate in Mindfulness based cognitive therapy. Her ongoing battle with a pituitary tumor and rare disease has not only shaped her professional endeavors, but also her personal growth, as you will hear. she's continuously practicing shifting perspectives and challenging her own limiting beliefs in order to fully embrace life. And I just, thank you I mean, her story is so powerful. it really made me stop and think about my own life too, and I hope it gives you that same perspective. I do want to apologize if there is any background noise. I swear they were doing construction right above me, the entire interview. So hopefully there are no audio disturbances, but, I appreciate your grace if there were any. enjoy this interview with Risa. I'm so excited to hear what you think. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me on LinkedIn or by email, and I'm so excited to have you along for the Redraw Your Path journey. Welcome to Redraw Your Path, Risa August. So nice to meet you. How are you today?

Risa: 2:37

Oh, I'm wonderful. Thank you so much for having me.

Lynn: 2:40

I'm really excited to hear your journey and where I love to start with every guest is, can you share some context about where and how you grew up with listeners?

Risa: 2:51

Sure. I actually grew up in a suburb of Cleveland, and, I had, two parents that got divorced when I was very young, and an older brother. My dad was in and out of our lives and, when I was about 21 years old, I left Cleveland and, moved to another state. but before that I was just kind of like a regular kid. And, I went to college about 40 minutes from where I grew up, at a institution called Kent State University, which, many people have heard of and, but then after that I left town and never really looked back.

Lynn: 3:30

Awesome. Okay, Cleveland based. Cleveland is on, which of the Great Lakes again? Is it Lake? Ontario? Lake Erie. Okay, thank you. Thank you. I should know that. but so it sounds like you, you and your brother growing up, it was mostly mom, mostly with mom, parents divorced. anything you'd want to share in terms of like, you went to school, neighborhood, anything like that in Cleveland?

Risa: 3:58

well, we didn't have a lot of money. we lived on a small street and what was considered a very small home compared to all the other housing developments and homes that all my friends lived in and so on, at the time, it was more an affluent neighborhood, but one that we certainly didn't feel like we fit into and, but, School, I I did really well and then I went through this rebellious phase, but then on the tail end of it, I was like, wait a minute, I really want to like, get out in the world and I want to leave high school on a positive note. So I my last year in high school turned things around and, and really focused on my studies. I was also an athlete, and I played sports like basketball and volleyball and softball and. All that.

Lynn: 4:48

Awesome. So you were pretty involved and went through the sometimes typical like teenager rebellion stage. So most of us grow up with some sort of like expectations or molds that were placed on us sometimes that we don't really ask for. what were some of those for you? Or were there any paths that you were expected to take in life?

Risa: 5:11

Oh my gosh. Yes. So I was always the really good kid. I followed the rules and, I always wanted to do well. and that probably stems from a broken home. I was always trying to keep the peace and if I work hard enough and I be the best I can, the best child I can be, like maybe Make everyone else happy maybe it'll bring everyone back together or maybe it'll, make my dad quit drinking or, all that kind of stuff. I was seeking, the love that children so much need from their parents and so I Basically lived out this need to be perfect and good at everything. it felt like it was never enough. So then I'd reach for the next thing and then that wasn't enough. And so I'd reach for the next thing. And, and I just kept striving. And even when I went on to college, I grew up as a child wanting to be an archeologist. a lot of the kids are like, Oh, I want to be a doctor or a firefighter. Have a family. And I was like, no, I want to be an archeologist. I loved Indiana Jones and I was always out digging in the dirt. And, and I wanted to go on to college to study that. And I was told repeatedly, I wouldn't be successful. I can't make any money doing that. And so I had this idea of okay, not only do I have to be perfect. I have to be successful. so I went on to study business management and administration and, did that for a couple of years. And I was miserable,

Lynn: 6:45

that makes me so mad for Little Risa. who are these people telling you that you weren't going to be successful or make money as an archaeologist?

Risa: 6:54

Yeah, it was mostly family members, but, I even had a school counselor tell me the same thing.

Lynn: 7:00

Oh gosh.

Risa: 7:01

Yeah.

Lynn: 7:02

I'm curious to, I'm sure as we go through your story, I want to hear more about that, business management and, the misery piece, right? Not to, focus on it, but sometimes we make choices that we think are going to serve us and they don't ultimately. so it sounded like you grew up with this drive to, Please others to be perfect, to really strive for success. And then also what I heard was like some peacemaker tendencies. You just wanted Everything else to be okay. So you played that role of good child.

Risa: 7:38

Yes. So even if I was uncomfortable, if I can make everyone else comfortable, no matter what expense it was to me, that's what mattered, putting others before me, others, comfort levels, others

Lynn: 7:51

Yeah, probably like overriding those, I imagine, of your own. Thank you for sharing that. I think it's always interesting to hear what are we expected to do and how are we raised? so I want to fast forward real quick for listeners. We heard about your childhood. I want to hear where and how are you currently spending your days? And then we'll go back through.

Risa: 8:12

Yes, gosh, oh my goodness. I, I guess I am living in that space of Evolution and expansion and becoming more and more aware of my needs, my wants, my goals, my dreams, my desires, all of it. and I am taking steps towards all of those. and I am not under any illusion that, my growth has stopped in any way. for the rest of my life, I hope I continue to grow and evolve.

Lynn: 8:44

I love that. I love that. And you, when you left us off in the beginning of your life, you were still in Kent State. So are you still Cleveland area and like business management or what's your career and geography look like these days?

Risa: 9:01

Yeah, so I'm based in Colorado now. I would say Golden, Colorado is where I'm currently based. that's gonna be changing slightly very soon. And, maybe I'll come back to that. But, But I'm actually, I do still use a lot of my business skills. one I've been running my own businesses since 2012. I also, run the operations for someone else's business, but I've also gone on to become a Gestalt practitioner and an award winning author, a speaker. And a patient advocate. And those truly are the things that fill my heart.

Lynn: 9:41

Awesome. I thank you for sharing that. And, for listeners who don't know, can you share what it means? What is gestalt practitioner? tell me more about that, because I believe I know, but I just want to make sure we bring listeners along.

Risa: 9:57

Absolutely. So gestalt is a German word that loosely means wholeness. And so the modality of gestalt is an experiential and non traditional approach to therapy or coaching. so. when I'm working with clients, it's a very co active approach. I'm not here to tell you what to do and how to do it. I'm here to guide you through your process through it. And, and to really help you find those answers within yourself. It

Lynn: 10:31

that. so it's an approach to therapy and coaching where you're working with individuals, to support their development. Cool. all right, let's go back and hear more about the path. you were a college student. Student. And from there, what can you tell us? what was the first big way you redrew your path? And maybe it was even before that. I don't know. So let me, I'm just on the edge of my seat over here, Risa.

Risa: 10:54

was actually two years into college and into that business management, degree or major, and I actually met a guy, and, He was graduating from college. We were inseparable from the time we met and he was graduating from college that May, I think it was February and in May he was graduating and he said, I'm moving to Maine and why don't you come with me? And I was like, what? I was working full time in the finance department of a large toy manufacturing company at the time. And I was going to school full time for business management. And somewhere along the lines of my childhood into adulthood, I learned that you don't leave home. Your family is your priority and the most important thing, and you stay where you grew up, and I couldn't even conceive, Maine, I never even really heard of Maine, except we learned it in, geography, but I didn't know what was there, I didn't know anything about it, and for all I know, it was another country. And I remember saying, Maine? What's in Maine? And he was like, Oh my gosh, you have no idea. And he's like, I've been going there every summer since, I think since his childhood. And, so then he had some friends visit and they're like, you should really move there for the summer and check it out. And I was like, I couldn't. No, I can't do that. I can't quit my job. I can't quit school. that's irresponsible. somewhere along the lines, I learned I need to be responsible. And that means staying the course, right? And, two weeks before he was moving, I don't know what came over me. I typed up a, resignation letter for my job and I didn't register for classes the following semester. And I'm, I moved, I told my parents a couple of days before we were moving because I was so terrified. to tell them. It wasn't that I didn't respect them enough to do it. I was terrified to tell them. I was pretty certain my mom would not approve. And but I did it and we moved and I don't know how much you wanted me to get into that yet, but

Lynn: 13:15

Yeah. How did, I'm curious, how did that play out with when you told your parents or when you told your mom?

Risa: 13:21

my father was always, even if my father disagreed with me, he always supported me, he always had this attitude of. it's your life, you get to make the decisions you want. Um, I don't even think he would give me his opinion on it, but I could just tell if he thought it was a good decision or not, or if he agreed with it or not, but he always supported me in making my own decisions. my mother, I'm guessing if I remember correctly, it was a screaming match and you're ruining your life and. you're just screwing things up and how can you leave me and how can you leave us and all this behind? so it wasn't this incredible send off. It was very much wanting to be excited but having this weight of emotion and feeling like I'm, fucking things up.

Lynn: 14:16

That's a lot to carry, as a 20 year old, 21 year old. What I, if you can put yourself back in the shoes of yourself, then what was the worst that could happen or what were you playing out in your mind? Yeah.

Risa: 14:31

I had it so ingrained in me that I had to be successful and this meant finishing college, And, making a lot of money and being independent. And so all of a sudden I'm moving, it feels irresponsible and careless. one of the first things I did was look into enrolling in college Maine.

Lynn: 14:54

Mm hmm. Mm

Risa: 14:55

I went right into college after high school and had a full time job and full time classes. I never enjoyed the way college kids enjoy their time in college. You know, a lot of college kids, they get to go to college and like fully experience what it's like to have that freedom and stuff. I never felt like I had that, and it felt careless and responsible to me. so yeah, there was that kind of churning inside of me.

Lynn: 15:19

were you thinking about, like, All right, when I get to Maine, I'm going to enroll in college or I'm going to finish college, but I want to do X, Y, Z differently, or were you thinking I have to get a full time job because it leads to financial stability and I'll need that to be successful, etc., or What were your kind of plans at that point?

Risa: 15:41

So it started off with the old interjects, right? It started off with, okay, I need to get a full time job. I need to make money, take care of myself, and see where I can take classes so I can keep working towards my degree. That's where it started.

Lynn: 15:58

Okay. Where'd it go? I'm on the edge of my seat.

Risa: 16:02

Yes, it eventually, the relationship, ended after a year, and it was probably pretty rocky and not great even long before that. and I actually, a year later did go back to Ohio, but with a whole new mind.

Lynn: 16:20

Oh, tell more.

Risa: 16:22

so I remember, My mom saying to me, I told you it wouldn't work out and now you've screwed everything up. And I was like, Oh, but I don't care that the relationship didn't work out. This is what I learned. And I learned that there was a whole world outside of Cleveland, Ohio. And I learned about, oh my gosh, I learned like how to go backpacking. And, and I know that seems like a simple thing, but it evolved into, into my career. And. I learned all about music and different types of music and I didn't know that you can actually have a career being a fisherman because in my mind a fisherman was just going to the pond with your little rod and reel and I don't know pulling up some bluegill or something like I, I didn't know it was actually, like I, my mind and. had opened up so much. So I ended up enrolling back in school for another semester, but this time I picked my own degree and I found that I loved geography. I loved maps. I love, so I started learning all about cartography and then now I had this bug to travel. And so I didn't stay in Ohio very long. I ended up, enrolling in an AmeriCorps program. I learned about AmeriCorps when I was living in Maine through some of the friends. And, and I ended up this time going to the West Coast to Washington State for two years, volunteering in an AmeriCorps program. And, and that just, yeah, that, so in Maine, this whole, from the outside, it might've looked like a big mistake, but it changed my whole view and trajectory of life. And I left business and became very much involved in environmental studies and environmental education and, environmental work.

Lynn: 18:28

Oh, that's awesome. My heart is so happy for, college aged Risa and I will, just for, listeners who don't know AmeriCorps, thanks for pronouncing it the correct way. It is not AmeriCorps. and I'm also a two time AmeriCorps alum, so for listeners, AmeriCorps is people say it's the Domestic Peace Corps where you're committing service for a year. so I'm curious, were you in like an NCCC program when you went out west or a different like I am in the middle of a program called the State AmeriCorps Program, or what did that look like?

Risa: 19:02

Yes, it was an individual program on its own, but it was residential. So we lived in Forest Service housing. but it had this very. Hippy vibe to it. And I, cause I've heard that NCCC is more, a little more rigid and structured. And, I was in a program called Northwest Service Academy. And, it was definitely an incredible experience.

Lynn: 19:27

cool. I love that! I, it sounds like Maine, and like this has come up on other interviews, but it sounds like Maine was like your study abroad. you went to Maine, it was this whole other culture, this whole other world, and At that pivotal age, your mind just expanded into what life could look like. is that right? Does that feel right?

Risa: 19:49

that's a great way to put it. I never thought of it that way. Cause I used to get sad looking back. I was like, Oh, I wish in high school I studied abroad or I wished in college I studied abroad. But that really sounds spot on what you said. I, yes. Yes,

Lynn: 20:07

many different corners of our country and the culture is so vastly different that when you grow up in one place and then you can experience something, and I used to live in Boston, so I know the Maine culture. I would go up to visit friends in like southern Maine, like Portland, so not like way up there, but it is its own unique culture, very cool. Anything else about those turns or that turn that you'd want to talk about, Risa? It sounds like, that whole taking your path into your own hands and saying, this is what I'm doing, whether or not you're following a guy or whatever, but it sounds like taking that into your own hands empowered you to make different choices

Risa: 20:51

for sure. And now I can look back and be like, Oh, he was just the catalyst to get me to that point. and. I feel like, yeah, that, that whole experience catapulted me into one, just having this deeper craving for travel, for, backpacking and environment, anything immerse, immersing myself in the outdoors or environmental studies. and that's the career path, I took for a little while until my next pivotal moment.

Lynn: 21:22

Awesome. Okay. So you were, you were out west with AmeriCorps. Right. And had you finished your bachelor's degree at that point?

Risa: 21:29

No, not yet.

Lynn: 21:31

Okay. Okay. So tell me like, what was next? what was the next big way you redrew your path?

Risa: 21:36

Yes. So I, I ended up actually leaving Washington state a couple of years later. I did two year terms and some people stay in that area because they just love it so much, but I actually fled because of a guy. I had a horrible breakup, but again, I, See it as the catalyst to get me to my next thing and, breakups can be like rocket fuel towards transformation, and so I ended up, moving to Australia for a year To be an intern for an environmental program and that's where it led me next. And I definitely went through all the things. I was very homesick and pretty isolated where we were located. But I did get to travel some while I was there and Made my way back to Maine after that

Lynn: 22:27

Okay.

Risa: 22:28

and, became an environmental educator for, an environmental foundation there on the coast in Wiscasset. And I was there for a few years and, worked on an organic farm still in that environmental field. And I woke up one day, I was in my late twenties by now. And I woke up one day and I just said, Something needs to change. I felt like I was aimless at this point. I'd traveled a lot and I was taking jobs just so I could travel more but I felt pretty aimless. so I went back in my late 20s, back to Kent, Ohio, and finished my degree in geography.

Lynn: 23:05

Okay. How did you know that it was something needed to change? Do you remember, how you figured it out? Was it a general, just unsettled feeling? Or what was pulling you to Kent specifically?

Risa: 23:18

Yeah, so I think that's a great word. I did feel unsettled. I was living in a cabin on someone's property. I actually at certain times, was living in my tent and I'm in my late 20s and, living this very autonomous life. And I, I thought I had this idea like, I don't need a partner I can just do my life on my own terms. And, but it got lonely and boring. And I just, I literally remember the kind of mulling over all these things. I don't even know what I could do or where I could live. And I don't know where I want to live. And I don't know. But I literally woke up one morning and I said, I need to go back and get my degree. I want to finish my degree. It was like this goal, almost like a bucket list item like I want to just check it off the list like. And this time I'm going to go and I'm going to study what I love and something I want to do. And so I went into geography, which overlaps a lot of some archaeology and, physical geography and social geography, and all of it was very fascinating to me. and so I did, I went back to Ohio. I think I had two more semesters left and I finished my degree and I just was very focused and rigid. And this was a time I started looking at life again differently. And I started. Racing triathlons and, almost starting to look towards, okay, what does it look like to be settled? what would that look like? And

Lynn: 24:46

Okay. I'm curious, you haven't mentioned anything about how did that relationship with your mom play out? And when you came back to Ohio, was there anything happening there? Or any sort of fears in your mind of she was going to say, I told you so. I told you, had gotten on the wrong path all, way back when.

Risa: 25:07

I'm sure there were conversations. I think she was probably just happy to have me back, when I would come back to visit, it was a different story. I either got the silent treatment or she was very angry. when I moved back though, she seemed very happy to have me back on the same soil, so to speak. and there were challenges in that as well. if I wasn't doing my life the way she wanted me to,

Lynn: 25:33

Was there anything coming up in, in terms of how you might have had to reframe for yourself when you were going back into the classroom and, finishing your degree at that point? were there any, Ways that you saw yourself that were changing that were drastic or, did it just feel like right?

Risa: 25:53

Yes. it felt right. I felt like finally. I was excited to be back in school for something I actually wanted to learn, and I was excited to learn because it was stuff I wanted to learn. So that felt very exciting. And I felt like I was at this age where I had matured some. I had, a focus to me. I wasn't terribly into partying too much anymore and I was eager to learn and really excited of Oh my gosh, where can I go with this big, beautiful life of mine?

Lynn: 26:26

I love that so much. I'm picturing you all starry eyed, thinking about the perspective that you have compared to an 18 year old when you're going through college. Just a really, powerful perspective after you have some life experience under you.

Risa: 26:43

Because a lot of times, like I, I hear this all the time. Kids are really lost going into school and they don't quite know what they want to do. And, and this second time around I also did it right too. I pulled out a little extra loan money so that I only had to work part time. And I could really focus on my studies. And that was a hard decision too. It felt, again, it felt irresponsible. Like I should be working my butt off and working full time. And, but I didn't, I worked as a lifeguard and, and that's how I got into triathlons and started living a healthy lifestyle. And so I can just see all, how all these pieces came together. To start creating the life I was going to, enter into.

Lynn: 27:25

Yeah, cool. Did you start, like you said, that's when you started the triathlon. process Did you start to see yourself as like a triathlete in identity then? Or what did that look like?

Risa: 27:38

I wasn't, I felt like I wasn't, even though I played sports in high school, I didn't really do much. maybe that's not true. I did a lot of backpacking and, but it wasn't until my later 20s like I actually started seeing, seeing this stuff as fitness. see, like incorporating fitness into my lifestyle. Because before it was just always hiking or backpacking because it was fun. But now it was like this fitness thing, I was incorporating. And so I, I just remember seeing, someone swimming in the pool and I was like, Oh, are you training for something particular? And he said, Oh, triathlons. And he's you should try one. And I was like, Oh, I don't know. I don't know. But I did. I ended up borrowing a friend's bike, a big clunky mountain bike that was way too big for me. And my friend's dad raced triathlons. So I asked him all kinds of questions and I did my first one. And I just remember it. It was so gratifying. I remember crossing the finish line and I was like, oh my gosh, I did that. And now what can I do?

Lynn: 28:38

Okay, cool, cool. So it sounds like you got the bug for triathlons. okay, so what happened after that? what was the next big way you redrew your path or anything about that redraw that you want to share, Risa?

Risa: 28:53

So I knew I wanted to meet a guy or have a partner in life and I was hoping I'd meet someone through triathlon that something we enjoyed together. and that wasn't the right place for that. And, eHarmony started coming around online dating and, I remember my mom encouraging me to sign up for eHarmony and I was like, no, I don't need that. I don't need that. And she's like, how about you try it for a month and I'll pay for it. And, so I was a little curious. I was like, okay, and went on a date and it was awful.

Lynn: 29:25

course, of course.

Risa: 29:27

but then I met one of the third, Guys I met on there, he had the similar story. His mom signed him up and he was in a transitionary time in his life too, ready to start settling and All that and, and so we connected and headed off. He lived about three and a half hours away. And so I essentially finished school and went and lived, in central Pennsylvania where he was living at the time. And, And that kind of took us to eventually to Colorado where we landed in 2008. And I was still trying to kind of break into the environmental field. I still thought like that was the career path I was on and it's simply wasn't working out. probably about four years in, after we moved to Colorado, my, was my next pivotal moment where. I was like, this just isn't working, no matter what I tried. and so I just one day quit my job. I just, I was working a seasonal job and doing hard work. And I was just like, I'm done. And I had no idea what I was going to do

Lynn: 30:38

Okay, so quit your job without a plan, basically.

Risa: 30:42

a plan, which is unheard of for me because I'm a big planner. And I, I started making Wedding cakes for friends weddings. And I started seeing when I would deliver their cakes. They had nobody coordinating, so it would be just like a mess, be like a circus. And I started noticing that I'd be, directing people and delegating, and I just would take over. And this happened multiple times at multiple weddings. And I was like, I am really good at this. I am very detail oriented and, organized. And so I started my own wedding and event planning company. For about seven years, it was very successful and lucrative for me. and then I moved on from there.

Lynn: 31:29

Oh my gosh, that that took a big turn and I love it. were you at that point, were you like, do I need credentials to do this? am I qualified? were you having any self doubts,

Risa: 31:41

Oh my Oh my gosh. Yes. I remember, I took a class, there was someone in Denver, really well known planner who was holding a, like a full day workshop on where, how to start your own wedding and event planning company. And I. I think she saw something in me and, we ended up becoming good friends and she she became my mentor, but I remember showing up to an actual event planning job. It was at a venue and they were looking for an onsite event planner and I thought, Oh my gosh, this is such a good way to build up experience. and I remember I showed up and there was this girl who was probably, 10, 15 years younger than me. And. She's all cute and she has her pen and paper and she's all organized and she's answering all the right questions and I was just so out of my element and I did not get the job but I remember thinking, oh gosh, maybe I'm not cut out for this. I thought it had to look a certain way but when I finally settled into, oh no, no, it's gonna look Risa's way, I started realizing Well, those were the couples I started, drawing in and so I developed a whole niche around more natural outdoor weddings and that became more of who I was. It felt more in alignment with me. And, but definitely initially I was like, I don't think I'm in the right place.

Lynn: 33:13

like, how did you go from, because there's a point where you're like, Oh, I don't have that cute outfit and she's probably wearing heels. And I don't know how anybody's spine can wear heels. And, like that thinking of maybe I'm just not cut out for this and you could have quit, right? Like you could have been like, eh, not for me. Like, how did you realize, oh, it is going to look Risa's way?

Risa: 33:36

Oh, gosh, yeah, that's such a great question. well, probably some of that old Risa was showing up again, okay, you have to make money, and everything you do has to be perfect and successful. And I wanted to, on some level, I had pressure from my husband. It's okay, you just quit your job, but you need to make money. We have bills to pay. And so I was really determined to make it work. So I started reading books and, meeting people and really, tapping into, Like some of the best advice I would give is don't compare yourself to others. You're unique to you and there are plenty of brides to go around. and so I've really started settling into, okay, I'm not going to wear heels. I'm going to wear flats with jeans. And, and and I realized this was a point too, where I realized I actually really loved fashion, but I always worked in the, gritty environmental field. Carhartt's was the in style, and so I realized but becoming this wedding planner that I actually really loved fashion too. So I loved putting together, casual professional styles and, but I was going to do it my way. And, and I remember when one of the venue owners even said to me, I love your style. Every time I see you, you just look so, it's, you're so unique. It's so unique. And and I took it as a compliment.

Lynn: 35:03

That's awesome. So that advice of not comparing yourself to others just really helped you to stick with it and helped you to find your own niche, style, clients, et cetera.

Risa: 35:16

Yes. and it truly kept evolving. And I had a friend who helped me with my branding as well. And she took me through a, a. beautiful process of answering all these questions of, what do I think? What do I feel about this? like even simple questions like, what are your favorite colors? and so I really got to dive into who am I as a person? and who, how do I want the world to see me? so that process was extremely helpful.

Lynn: 35:46

That's awesome. has that process or anything from that process stuck with you through, I know you like said eventually you closed your business or moved on or redrew your path in another way, but has that like initial work you did to brand yourself and style yourself like stuck with you? Has it remained consistent?

Risa: 36:06

Oh my gosh. Yes. It's, I refer back to it constantly, not just for me, but for my clients as well. It, and it could be helpful in so many facets of our lives and not just business, just, Simply for a life vision, like what do I want in this life? and this process can be extremely helpful for that. We don't often take. but when you take the time to dive into ourselves and really, because we take on these roles over time, you become a wife and then a mother and then, in my case, I, was an environmental educator, like we take on these roles and but when you take the time to really dive into, wait a minute, wait, what do I want? Who am I? it's, it can be really exciting.

Lynn: 36:48

Yeah, it sounds like almost like a replay of when you were younger and in college you paused and said what do I actually want? and started to listen to yourself in that way.

Risa: 37:00

Yes, absolutely. And we go through stages in life. like I said earlier, I feel like I'll probably go through many more changes too. And I did go through another change after the wedding and event planning business as well.

Lynn: 37:13

Yeah, awesome. so you ran that business for seven years and you were really successful and you were event planner extraordinaire and just like naturally fit in and organized the day, and built a business off of that. so what was your next big redraw?

Risa: 37:31

yeah, so I quickly burned out of that. I needed a, some part time work to supplement the slower times of year. And so I became, An administrative assistant for a woman who pioneered gestalt therapy, partnering with horses.

Lynn: 37:50

Okay. Okay.

Risa: 37:51

And so I started part time, just basically doing all her behind the scenes admin. And I kept thinking, this is just, Temporary. Just needed to get through, get me through, until I can make enough in the season to not even have to work in the wintertime or the slower times. And, 12 years later, I'm still working for her, but, but I have evolved along that path as well. And I went on to become a Gestalt practitioner myself, but what really became a big turning point for me was in 2018, when I was diagnosed with a tumor at the base of my brain. And then, I pivoted again.

Lynn: 38:36

Okay. how did that catalyze like your pivot, or how did that affect, I imagine it affects everything.

Risa: 38:45

Yes, for sure. I, I started looking, you can't help but reflect on your life, with all of a sudden an uncertain future and I started looking back at oh my gosh, I fell into this role of being a wife and focusing on the needs of this other person. I, was helping grow someone else's business. And, and I was reflecting on, wait a minute, where did I fall away? Like where did the traveling, adventurous Risa, who loves the outdoors, What happened to her? and I really started questioning a lot of that. what I realized is that one, I really loved helping others. I think I was just a nurturer and a caretaker, from birth. just an opportunity to really reflect on my life. And so I pulled out this giant bucket list and started looking at all the things I always wanted to try and do. And there's things that I didn't even know I wanted to try and do. And I started checking them off my list. I started taking classes and doing things and really exploring what are the things I love now? Because. I was loving a lot of this stuff I was doing because it's what my husband

Lynn: 40:02

Okay.

Risa: 40:03

and it was still expected of me to, work full time and bring in money. And I, had to be successful and, I wasn't allowed to, take a class or explore, other hobbies or things I wanted to do because it costs money. You know, there's just a whole there's just a whole story around that too. And, and I just remember following brain surgery and radiation treatment and I was sitting on the couch and I could barely leave the house. I consciously said, I don't want to live this way. If I'm going to live, I'm going to live.

Lynn: 40:32

Okay.

Risa: 40:33

and that's what I chose to do. And at that moment is when I decided I was going to ride my bike from Canada and Mexico.

Lynn: 40:40

Okay. When you, and I want to hear, I want to hear more about Canada to Mexico. When you were thinking, I don't want to live this way, can you say more about like this way? Was it like the marriage? Was it the, putting other people's needs in front of your own? Was it, you would close your business at, by that point. but what was the, this way? Yeah,

Risa: 41:06

this point in time gets me emotional every time still. Yes, I wanted to live on my terms. I didn't want to do it other people's way anymore. And I wanted to do it Risa's way. And I still had to figure what that was. I could feel tears filling my eyes right now. It's, it was this conscious decision of here I am with a tumor and On the couch and what about my needs? When is someone going to take care of me? not, and I don't mean that in a way like someone come take care of me, but I was so worried of still taking care of everyone else at that time, even like presenting myself in a way that would keep them comfortable. see, I'm still the detailed, organized employee or. I'm still the, committed housewife and I was still trying to uphold this, persona, even though I was wrecked physically and, mentally and emotionally. And so I really did start asking myself those questions and wait, what about me?

Lynn: 42:09

it sounds like, you were this like really strong woman that built and ran a business and quit your job without a plan and were really adventurous in that way. Yeah. and yet still trying to make others comfortable. And I feel like there's such like a, there's such like a slippery point between those two. And it sounds like that time brought you a lot of reflection.

Risa: 42:36

Yes. Yeah. it was a really bad, like important time in my life, And I was, I had worked myself up to Ironman distance triathlons as well. Like I was extreme in everything I did. And I was forced to stop, like I was forced to stop everything. and it really did give me this opportunity to really reflect on. Wait a minute. I don't know about this anymore. and so there was grieving in the letting go of those old parts. And I don't resent those parts or the way I live my life. Cause it all brought me to now, but it was this journey of letting go and then beginning to embrace. And break those old patterns, like redraw, those old ways of doing things.

Lynn: 43:23

Yeah. Yeah. So as you are walking away from living your life that way and towards your bucket list and towards the bike ride from Canada to Mexico and everything else that was on your bucket list, was that when, did you walk away from the marriage at that point?

Risa: 43:41

not right away. I, I'm very loyal and committed. And I forced, my ex husband to try counseling and I lined it up so it was all on his terms, keep him comfortable. He had very, okay, if I'm going to try this is what it has to look like. So set it all up the way he wanted. And he still wasn't receptive to that. And I had to make that hard decision of, Choosing me, which, I feel myself getting emotional again, that didn't seem like a good enough reason. Choosing me didn't seem like a good enough reason to leave a marriage. And so it took, it was a process. It took a while.

Lynn: 44:19

Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like it. Were you just feeling like am I good enough to choose me? Or what, can you say more about what was coming up for you at that point?

Risa: 44:31

there were definitely some of those old parts of me, like maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I didn't do enough. Maybe I'm actually the problem. maybe it is me, because. If you were to view our marriage and our lives from the outside, it, it looked amazing. we, financially comfortable, have a big, beautiful home in the mountains of Colorado. we had a lot of fun. We were always camping and going places. but what what people don't see is, All the stuff beyond that, all the stuff beyond the outside, view. And, and, but I even would get in my head about why wouldn't I want this life? It looks so good. It looks perfect. And, I have everything I need and, I won't say all my needs were met, but I had everything I need. I, my basic needs were met, And so it just, yeah, again, I was somehow failing. I was somehow failing. Doing it wrong or something.

Lynn: 45:30

Yeah, it's I appreciate you sharing all of that because I think so many of us, when things aren't working, we tend to blame ourselves and go inside and be like, what am I doing wrong? What could I be doing better? if I were this, then everything would be fine. and those can be really hard thoughts to sit with. and it sounds like, many ways, the tumor and like your medical journey gave you permission to start to actually put yourself first. So I'm curious, what did that look like then or like through the process and? And once it happened,

Risa: 46:05

Yes. Well, definitely it was a process because I was still, I wanted to prove to everyone, because people started seeing me as a victim and, oh my gosh, poor you. and I didn't want to be viewed that way. So I kept, Trying to pretend it's no big thing. I'm going to be on my bike again in no time and It's all going to be fine. So you guys are making a big deal out of nothing. Like I was Determined to prove everyone that I was still the perfect detailed organized athlete That I always was. And, and slowly over time with getting my own coaching, my own therapy, the support of friends and, and really diving into myself and asking those questions. I started letting a lot of that fall away. there's still a few people in my life that I think, struggle with that. my memory and cognition, all that's changed. I am no longer this detailed person. I make a lot of mistakes now because I just miss them. My brain misses them now. Or I have to ask people to repeat themselves. I'll be like, I feel like I just asked you this, but I can't remember if I did. and they, I think they get short with me. And so I feel like other people are sometimes struggling with who I've, evolved into. but I'm learning to really let that fall away. And man, oh man, when you Let that stuff fall away, the roles that other people put you in, the expectations that other people put on you, when you've let that fall away, oh my gosh. Like life just unfolds. It just, I just wanted to burst open.

Lynn: 47:46

yeah. Were there, I'm curious, like you mentioned therapy and coaching, were there any specific tools you used or, specific modalities that helped you? have some of that fall away? I feel like I'm asking this question both for listeners and for myself. because it sounds like you've really, I think when someone goes through a health journey, you have to grieve the version of you that once was also. And I've gone through my own journeys and with health and really have had to figure out grieving and I don't think I've figured it out yet, and I'm like, it's been 10 years. Like, how have I not figured this out yet? So I'm curious for you, Risa, was there anything specific that helped you like shed some of that and really helped you step into embracing your new self?

Risa: 48:38

Yes. Oh my gosh. I feel like I tried everything. I, for me learning about myself and learning. not even just about myself, but understanding how and why I operate the way I do, as well as understanding how and why other people operate the way they do, that really helped me significantly. But I ended up enrolling into a two year intensive, Gestalt training program and to eventually become a coach myself. and so, in that program, you have to do all your own personal work. before you can move on and start, helping others through theirs. I explored some transformational presence work as well. And, I have a dear friend who's a coach through that modality. And I'm still trying to understand it and learn it. But, I, I love that as well. And I also, went on to get some traditional therapy. and this is interesting. One day the Cancer Treatment Center contacted me and they said we want to offer, therapy for you if you want to take it. It's no charge. and I was like, I don't think so. I've tried therapy long ago. It didn't work. I didn't like it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But something in me was like, okay, I'll give it a try. And this particular social worker actually had a Buddhist background. he was very much into, MBSR, it's a kind of like a mindfulness practice. And so he just had a more non traditional approach and he was a lifesaver too. And, but it really, I got to dive in for a couple of years of really like, healing some old wounds. Figuring out what those wounds even were, things I thought I had didn't have issue with, oh no, I don't need help with that. Oh gosh, no, I'm not, I haven't even thought of that in years, it's just fascinating. But once I opened up to, it took me a while, but once I opened up to all that and explored it, It really helped and I went on to work with, do some shamanic work, and, and I even got into a little bit into, some intuitive and energy, readings and stuff like that. I was so open, I was willing to try anything.

Lynn: 50:52

Yeah, oh my gosh, that's so special to be able to be offered that opportunity and to be able to tune into yourself and realize your first gut reaction was like, Nah, I'm good. I don't need therapy. And then to realize like something was calling you towards it. I mean that takes a lot of like bravery to say yeah, sure, maybe I don't have it all figured out yet.

Risa: 51:15

Oh, absolutely. That's just been, Kind of a thread throughout, moving forward from that point of Risa, just be open, and then, and if it's not for you, you learned something. If it is for you, you learned something. So just be open.

Lynn: 51:28

So did that, did that, what you shared, take us through the end of that turn? Or was there more to that turn, really, where, your, tumor and your medical journey catalyzed, You're taking things into your own life and you're making the bucket list and if you're gonna live you're gonna live. is there anything more about that turn that you would want to share with listeners?

Risa: 51:50

yeah, just that it really opened me up to, how I wanna move forward. And I feel like I'm still in the midst of this redraw. I went on to get legally divorced. My ex-husband and I are very good friends and we're very close. We'll always be family and each, in each other's life. And I love that I come to realize that, We were meant to be, but we were meant to be in a different capacity. and that, that's okay. And it's okay to want the things I want in life. and it's okay for him to want the things and he wants in his life. And so we support each other in that. And, I went on to, yeah, start my own gestalt practice and, And I'm building my speaking platform and published my award winning book, multi award winning book now. And, and then went on to become a patient advocate for others facing pituitary tumors. they call them rare, but it's believed that they're not rare. And so it is my goal to save some lives and save people from, The diagnosis or my prognosis, at this point, which is still uncertain, but, but again, it's, I'm just happy to and excited about how it's all going to unfold because it's always changing. And as long as I stay open to that, I welcome all of it.

Lynn: 53:10

Yeah, that's really beautiful. And I think some really beautiful advice to realizing that, you can live your life and sometimes the redrawing of the path is like an ending of a relationship or, like changing what our life looks like. Sometimes it's a career pivot. Sometimes it's a health pivot. Sometimes it's all of those things at once. is there any advice you would give Risa to others who are Considering redrawing their path in addition to like some of that advice you just shared.

Risa: 53:40

Sure. I would ask yourself, don't limit yourself. I've looked at it now, like Obstacles aren't put in our life as blocks, they're simply something to navigate. and sometimes they're purposely placed there to redirect us in a different direction. And so if you come up against a block or, limiting thought be open and ask yourself okay, what can I do now? And the word can became a mantra for me. And I took the letter of each word, from the word can, and I named it capable, able, now, what am I capable and able to do now in this moment? And, set that goal, but. Don't be living in that future where that goal is. Live in the present where you are now and ask yourself, what am I capable and able to do now in this moment? What can I do? And that'll get you to the next thing, which will get you to the next thing, which will get you to the next thing, but stay open to all of it and don't limit yourself.

Lynn: 54:39

Oh, that's really beautiful. The don't limit yourself, stay open and, what am I capable and able to do now? and that'll help you navigate. those obstacles, and not just see them and stop, but to keep living. that's really beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story with listeners. can you share where can people find you and is there anything you would like to promote with listeners?

Risa: 55:08

Sure. I would love to. So you can find me at Risaaugust. com and it's Risa spelled with one s r i s a augustjustlikethemonth. com and please reach out to me and I recently published my book The Road Unpaved Border to Border with a Brain Tumor and a Bike and I've won four awards so far and you don't have to love bike riding to love this book. I have a lot of humor, And even in the dark moments and I share it all on the pages and I'm getting really wonderful feedback. And so I really think you would enjoy the story. And you can also find that on my website as well.

Lynn: 55:49

Cool. Thanks, Risa. I actually can't wait to read it and I'm going to be ordering that. today and sending a copy to my mom as well, who's

Risa: 55:57

thank

Lynn: 55:58

So thanks for sharing your story with Redraw Your Path listeners, and I can't wait to hear how many folks out there it helps.

Risa: 56:06

my gosh. Thank you so much for having me.

Lynn: 56:10

Thanks for listening to Redraw Your Path with me, Lynn Debilzen. If you like the episode, please rate and review. That helps more listeners find me. And don't be shy, reach out and connect with me on LinkedIn and sign up for my e-newsletter at redrawyourpath.com. I can't wait to share more inspiring stories with you. See you next week.